5 Years since my last blog...

I can't believe it's been almost 5 years since i last blogged and It's been 8 years since my Breast Cancer diagnosis! But don't worry i'm still NO EVIDENCE OF DISEAESE. 

Due to my continuing health issues i'm considering blogging again, so watch this space.

32 days post surgery!

It's been a month and I'm still very uncomfortable sleeping and sitting, wish I'd bought one of those full body pillows now! But I'm managing half an hour laying on my side now, so I'm improving slowly. My external scars are almost healed now, just a few little scabs at the edges of both chest scars and middle of tummy scar. My belly button now looks more like it should too.

I've had a few lovely friends visit me recently, thank you all so much Lizzie, Zoë  Sam and Naomi, you kept me sane! Lizzie and Zoë came over with a lovely gift from my theatre group Seaton Starlights, and such a thoughtful gift from them all for someone with new boobs at last! A nice sized gift voucher to spend on underwear, how amazing is that! I can't wait till spring so I can get measured and pick some lovely pretty new underwear, I'm so excited! Thank you all so much. And break a leg for Spamalot this week, I miss you all! Gutted I can't come and watch. Xx

I've been struggling with sleep a lot the last few weeks, I just can't sleep well on my back at all. The only time I get some sleep is with alcohol, but I'm not a big drinker anymore, so only once or twice a week I sleep! I've tried everything from sprays to sleep music and nothing helps!

I still struggle with the tummy tightness after eating, no matter how much I eat, I feel like I have an elastic band around me. I can stand up straight now, but I still can't stretch or carry much weight yet. But I'm a third of the way through my recovery period, so I'm getting there slowly but surely.

I've started walking around a thousand steps a day now, increasing a little every day. I learnt the hard way as one day I went straight up to three thousand steps and was in agony for a few days!

Have a great December and keep positive, and just in case I don't blog again this year, Have a very a merry Christmas and a happy New year! xxx 😘 ❤️

My gangee keeping my new skin flaps warm! 😂 

Lovely visit from Sam xxx

Lovely visit from Naomi xxx

I fit in a top I didn't fit in before surgery! 

Lovely walk on a nice day! 

Looking good if I do say so myself 😂 

Getting better slowly. 

Still loving my new microbladed eyebrows! 

Depression and anxiety!

I personally have fought with depression and more recently anxiety. My depression first started roughly six years ago when I first noticed my bodily aches and pains and eventually being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I first noticed this on my last mountain climbing holiday in the Lake District, coming down from the 75th mountain I'd climbed with Tim and the dogs. I had to walk down sideways, my knees and ankles had swollen up so much and I was in agony.

I was teaching dance back then too, with my own little dance school, I had classes 3 days a week for all ages, I even choreographed many shows locally, I loved it. My life was great, I was doing everything I enjoyed!

Almost four years ago as you know I was diagnosed with Breast cancer, and my little world felt like it had ended. I gradually went deeper and deeper into my depression with all the treatments, medications, failed surgeries and bone pain getting worse and worse. Anxiety then started to appear, every little pain, makes you think it's cancer coming back, omg am I going to die.

But I'm finally able to see a light at the end of a very long tunnel. I finally have the feminine body I wanted when I was first told I had cancer but I was too skinny back then. I hated the thought of implants but went along with my consultants opinions. I finally have hair and eyebrows again, thanks to microblading. I can feel myself becoming happier every day, I don't think I want to die anymore, which is great news. I finally want to do what I've always dreamt of, working for myself doing a mixture of things, pet sitting, sewing and accounts. I have a few new jobs lined up for all 3 businesses, ready to start in 2019!

I'm not out of the woods yet, but I am getting there. If you know someone struggling with depression and anxiety, please don't tell them to just sort it out and get over it, understand them, listen to them, just be there for them, even if it's just talking about normal things. Help someone you love today!

17 Days Post Surgery

Another week has passed and I'm doing really well. I'm just very uncomfortable, hate trying to sleep on my back and fed up! But I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and this is almost the end of my journey! Just my nipple tattoos left to have done. I can't drive till mid January, but 2019 here I come!

Tried a few bikinis on the other day and I'm very pleased with the results, you wouldn't know I'd had Breast Cancer when I'm wearing underwear! My new boobs are made from my tummy, and they look great, scarred but they're real and they're made from me! They look and feel real, they're even warm! Oh and they are softening up and starting to wobble 😂 My tummy is still really tight, I feel like a cut and shut car 😂 it's stopping me from eating so much, which suits me, I need to keep this flat tummy now, then next year I can lose weight and get fit.

On a sad note we lost a Pink Sister to Breast Cancer this week, Benita was one of the ladies I went through my journey with over the last 4 years. We've all found it a tough week, but we have supported each other through. Thinking of Benita, Paul her husband, Sophie her daughter and all the family. 💔

Had a lovely day with my Mom and Dad, who came to visit me from Wolverhampton on Tuesday. Thank you for a lovely fun day and my beautiful plant. Also a lovely visit from Angie and Frank yesterday. Also thank you Auntie Lynda and Andy for my beautiful flowers xxx

Roll on 2019, that's going to be my year, the start of my new life! ❤️💖💕

Thank you Mom and Dad xxxx

Thank you Lynda and Andy xxxx

Very pleased with my results ☺ 

Still a bit bloated from surgery

My tummy and new belly button

Think I like pink too much 😂 

The beautiful Benita 💔

Thank you my pink sister /birthday twinnie Lynne. xxx

10 Days Post Surgery

It's been ten days since my DIEP surgery and I can't believe how well I am doing, considering what I've had done! Isn't the human body amazing what it can cope with!

That being said I have to rest for weeks yet and not lift, stretch or pull. I'm finding it very hard to be a good girl! Luckily I have my online businesses and websites to set up, but that doesn't fill my days. I hate daytime TV the only program I'll switch the TV on for is Loose Women hehe. I'm catching up on drama's and box sets when I want to watch TV, but finding concentrating hard at the moment.

After cancer and redundancy I decided the office isn't for me anymore. So I'm going to be a part time self employed Accountant but I also have a pet sitting business and a sewing business. Oh and I'm also a distributor for Viva MK. I decided to hone in on all my skills and see what happens. Nothing like a bit of variety to spice your life up eh!

I got a few phone calls yesterday, one from my College Bestie Dawn, it was so lovely to catch up and a few calls relating to my adverts. So I now have a job for each of my businesses, can't wait to be better and to get cracking. This surgery really has helped my mental health already. I can see a light, let's make 2019 my year!

On another note I'm also very irritable and can't get comfy anywhere at the moment, but I've managed to sleep the last few nights, 6 hours is good for me these days. Today my clevege has started itching  so the piriton is another tablet to add to my concoction as I can't use cream yet.

But the good news is I'm finally drain free! It had 10ml the day before then it was empty yesterday, and to save a 60 mile round trip I removed it myself again, I did exactly what they did to remove the other 3 in hospital. Cut the stitch and it just slid out this time, no pulling needed. Yes I'm a nutter I know, but remember I'm on so much pain relief.

Have a lovely weekend x

My drain in the fire 

Be bye drain baby

The hole left from a drain

Paperwork is all I can do grrr