Yippeeeeee I'm cancer free!

YIPPEEEEEEE I'M CANCER FREE!!!!

Or "NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE" as they call it these days.

I was focussing on the bad news yesterday that I have to have radiotherapy, but thanks to friends and family I got a good arse kicking and was made to realise that there was some fabulous news and I am now Cancer free.

Still a few more hurdles to jump:

Breast deflated so I can have radiotherapy
15 x sessions of radiotherapy
Breasts inflated over next few months (every 3 weeks, slowly as skin stretches)
Nipples rebuilt
Areolas tattooed
Then Tamoxifen for 10 years

BUT YES YES YES I AM CANCER FREE!

Pathology results

Well would you Adam and Eve it... I got my pathology results today. The chemotherapy dissolved all the precancer in my left breast,  and had a partial response to the cancer in my right breast which I knew. My surgeon got clear margins all round so we're very happy with that. So I'm free of cancer, yippee, at last I can say there is No Evidence of Disease. 

But my new oncologist is recommending radiotherapy which I'm totally shocked about after my old oncologist said I 99% wouldn't need it. Apparently they recommend it when the tumor is over 50mm and mine was 52mm. Now what do I do.  I don't have to have it, I can refuse but will I regret it. Knowing me I will have it as I'm the sort of person that likes to know I have done everything I can. Oh well all I can do is think and wait to discuss this with my new oncologist.

The down side is I will have to have my right breast deflated before radiotherapy as it could damage the implant. It could also result in having to change the implant so further surgery grrr. Why do I always get bad news with good news!

20 days post double mastectomy

I can and I can't wait for my Pathology report in the next few weeks. I do and don't want to know the exact grade and stage of my cancer. Fingers crossed it's exactly as thought from the biopsies I had done in March and I don't need radiotherapy. I'm sure it is and the chemotherapy kept it at bay but your mind still wonders off until you know eh!

My chest felt weird last night, it felt so heavy it felt like the implants were going to drop out, I just couldn't get comfy. So I had a rough night again with the pain and my mind, I just lay awake all night eventually fell asleep around 7am, what I'd give for a decent nights sleep. I tried everything to get me to sleep too, tablets, alcohol, Horlicks, I even had a bit of morphine at 2am and that didn't work.

I've decided I'm going to have a bath tonight and remove my steri-strips while I'm in there, it's 20 days now, my wounds must be healed over, I really ache and I'm longing for a soak. You may hear me scream when I look down and realise my nipples are really gone, scared of what I'm going to see but it won't be for ever.

Thought I'd show you a few pictures of my fluffy chick hair, it seems to be light at the front and dark at the back and very sparse on the top, seems it is growing back first where it fell out first. Yes I know I look like an old man, but without the comb over :-P

I'm using this new soap bar for my scalp from lush:
A solid bar with cinnamon, clove and peppermint to stimulate your scalp. Cinnamon leaf, bay and clove bud essential oils combine with peppermint to boost blood flow, stimulating the hair follicles. An infusion of nettle and peppermint helps to stimulate the scalp and promote healthy hair. Rosemary soothes, calms your scalp and adds a glorious shine to your hair.
https://www.lush.co.uk/products/new

I also have the Lush Roots treatment ready for when I have a bit more hair:
The root to great hair starts at the scalp: we've used mint in three different ways to stimulate the scalp and hair follicles. We follow this up with conditioning and strengthening extra virgin olive oil, honey, and balancing nettle. The delicate, cheering perfume comes from a blend of neroli, grapefruit, and sweet orange oil. Apply to dry hair, starting at the roots. Massage into the scalp and leave for 20 minutes.
https://www.lush.co.uk/products/roots

Got around to hanging my heart from Collette

Also hung my healing friendship globe from Becky

And my plaque from Becky

My beautiful orchid from Ann xx

19 days post double mastectomy

Well it's been 19 days since surgery and I'm still in a lot of pain and very sore. But then who wouldn't be after having their pectoral muscles cut and stretched and sewn to your ribs. I had a few sleepless nights last week worrying about all the swelling, lumps, bumps, red patches and itching on and around my implants, so Friday I phoned the hospital and they told me to go in to have a check up. My drains have been out since last Monday so I was worried the swelling was a Seroma but luckily it wasn't and the doctor showed me how to check for one. Apparently my new boobs will be like this for a while yet, not what I wanted to hear! My surgeon did tell me this but I forget with my chemo brain. Why someone would pay to go through this I don't know, maybe I'm just worn out after this year and the chemotherapy and I've had enough. While I was at the hospital they removed the drain dressings and they are healing nicely.

I'm not happy with my new boobs at present but my surgeon said I wouldn't be and to bare with the healing process. One is bigger than the other and that is possibly partly down to the fact they were a bit before, but then isn't every ones. They also still feel like lead weights on my chest! I'm back at hospital on the 9th September for a check up and hopefully my first injection of saline into my implants, and we can put more saline into the smaller one and hopefully even them out. My fella loves my new boobs and doesn't want me to go any bigger, but we have to go a bit bigger to even them out, plus they are quite square at the moment and I'd like to see the tear drop shape they're supposed to be.

I still have steri-strips over the scars where my nipples were, they're taking there time to drop off, I think I'm ready to see my nipple less boobs now. I wasn't thinking of having my nipples rebuilt but I'm changing my mind now, the hospital will rebuild them using my own skin, then later you get your areola tattooed. I can't wait till they're all finished and scars are fading, but I remind myself I'm only day 19 post surgery and to slow down.

After my lonely plea just over a week ago I've had lots of visitors and I thank you all so much, you know who you are, it really helped me get through the week, as I was struggling with the blues and fed up of being at home. I still can't drive but I'm getting a lift into the office for a few hours this week so I can catch up with everyone which will be nice. Any work colleagues reading this, if you see me, please don't hug me too tight.

Please don't let your friend go though cancer alone, it's not a nice place to be and I've had my eyes opened wide. Even if you can't talk about the cancer, just being there for them and having normal conversation is so beneficial. Here's hoping for another happy week. xx

An interesting read if you want to know what I'm going through, I've had 99% of the symptoms:
http://www.justbreastimplants.com/article/breast-augmentation-surgery/after-breast-augmentation-surgery I'm not liking the zingers or the itching.





Beautiful sun flowers from Lynne xxx

 

I managed to walk 1/4 of a mile one day

What cancer cells looks like, I thought they were coconut macaroons

Fluffy chick

My second alcohol of the year

A glass of wine at the opening of local pub

Thank you RATS for my beautiful Rose bush xxxx

Drain free

At last I am drain free, I told the nurse if the Man from Glenfield says no I'm going to chase him round the hospital haha. But lucky for Mr P he said yes :-)

Three of my drains came out nicely, just felt very weird as I felt the tube pass under by breast then down my side. But one drain tugged a bit and it actually made me scream in pain and bought tears to my eyes. It felt like she was going to pull my implant out with it. But all was ok a minute after. I got given some softies too to wear in my bra until my boobs are blown up to full size. They're a bit like chicken fillets but made of material. Hopefully won't need them by Christmas.

I'm more comfortable now just a bit sore where the drains were, but sadly I can't bathe still as I can't soak the wounds, so shower it was and I can't tell you how lovely that was, think it was the longest shower ever hehe. I tried to sleep on my side last night but that's still a no as too painful, can't wait till I can get a full nights sleep, what with the sore chest and hot sweats will it ever happen one asks!

My chest is easing a little but still tight, swollen, sore and on fire, so I'm still very medicated and still on the stool softening regime too.

I have a red patch near my right scar where my nipple was, so I'm keeping an eye on that and still on the antibiotics. So taking my temperature more than once a day too. Mr P drew a dotted line around the red patch and if it spreads I have to go back to hospital, I can't risk an infection as this stage, as it could possibly mean losing my implants, so fingers crossed it's nothing more than red skin.

My tongue is almost better and food doesn't sting anymore, thanks to the mouth drops. What happened to Summer, its pouring with rain here, rain makes me miserable most days but when you're ill it seems to make you feel worse, please do a Sun dance for me. Have a good week. xx

Red patch near right scar with Mr P's dotted line

 

Will these drains ever come out

Still have all 4 drains in, but hoping tomorrow is the day they come out. I went back to hospital on Thursday for a check up, got my drains and dressings changed at least. The nurse arranged my drain pipes differently as they were pulling on my skin. But they're all now draining under 30ml each and have been for 2 days in a row. I can't wait to get them out now, as last night I'd had enough and just wanted to rip them out...ouch! So hopefully tomorrow night I'll be enjoying a candle lit bath with wine and chocolates.

 

Still not sleeping well, I get an hour then lay awake for two, then get another hour, then lay awake for two, hoping the drains removed will help with this too. I thought morphine made you sleepy! Please let no drains and a nice bath and wine help me sleep tomorrow.

 

My mom and niece went home Friday and we're missing them, it's so quiet without them. Had a few friends visit Friday and Saturday but today has been a miserable grey Sunday and feeling very low, so I've put some fun musicals on to cheer me up.

 

I can't drive till my surgeon says either, he said roughly 4-6 weeks after surgery...boring...haven't I been stuck at home enough this year! Please come and see me and stop me going mad. Xxxx

 

 

 

 

At hospital on Thursday

Where my right nipple was

Where my left nipple was

Drain pipes arranged so as not to pull any more

Still have some blood in my drains but mainly gold plasma



One drain exit is higher than the other...bizarre

To give you an idea of the length of the drains and size of bottles

I've had a reaction to the new plasters grrr

My gypsy head scarf

 

A week after double mastectomy

It's been a week since surgery and I'm still in pain, very swollen, tight and tender all over my chest and under my arms. Surgery went very well but I came out smaller than expected boob wise. This was due to me having a wide breast base, but my surgeon tells me there's still enough room to blow them up to the size I'd like over the next few months. I was told over the next few months my boobs would change a lot and would be lumpy, he wasn't wrong. Lumps are coming and going and shooting pains are agony. So much so that the last few nights I've had to try and fall asleep sat up in bed, because I can't lay down flat for the shooting pains. I can't wait till I'm fully healed.

 

Hotel hospital was better than expected, I love the adjustable beds, the food and the nurses and doctors are all wonderful. I think I've put another stone on though due to hospital food, too many steamed puddings and custard lol! I couldn't fasten my jeans up that I went in with oops! My operation was Wednesday 5th August at 14:30 which lasted just under 3 hours as I had 2 of the best surgeons at The Glenfield, one on each boob, lucky me eh ;-) I was allowed to go home on the Friday, I left my hotel with 4 drains, 2 on each side. Drains are required to stop the build up of fluid and stop seromas forming. They also help lessen bruising.

 

I was given home made bags to carry my drains in and heart shaped pillows to put under each arm for comfort, which I'm most grateful for. They tell me some lovely ladies make them who used to have cancer themselves, how wonderful. Thank up so much xx

 

I went back to hospital on Monday to have my drain bottles and dressings changed, it's now Wednesday and I still have them in. I have to phone in my drain readings every 24 hours and they have to be under 30ml a day before they'll take them out, so I'm hoping tomorrow is the day, fingers crossed. You're so limited with them in as to what you can do, I've forgot them a few times and nearly pulled them out. It's taken me all day to try and write this blog. My sides also feel very bruised due to the drains. I started off draining 130ml a day in 2 of the bottles and it's been getting less each day, today is 50ml and 30ml in the larger drains and 10ml in each of the smaller drains. They started off blood red and are now more orange due to the gold plasma, they'll eventually be clear.

 

Since Sunday my tongue has cracked and is very spotty, and everything I eat stings. I now have a course of mouth drops which taste awful, as you will see from the picture below. Thanks to my niece and her quick reaction she's took a couple of hilarious photos.

 

My mom and niece arrived on Saturday, as my mom is now on a walking stick, I knew she couldn't stay away hehe, love you mom. My one brother bought them here and my other brother is fetching them home on Friday. It's lovely having them here even though we still can't do much, Tim and Lauren walk the dogs while me and my mom recover from our surgeries. Love you all xxxx

 

I've had lots of lovely cards, flowers and presents, thank you all so much. Love you lots xxxx

 

Heart pillows

Alien woman

Drains

Drain bags

 



This is what we call a drain worm haha

 

A drain worm in the pipe

Hospital dinners
 

After surgery

Day after surgery

 



Thanks for my boob candles Paul xx
 

Flowers from Jan & Nigel xxxx

Pressie from Jen, Pete, Alice & Abi xxxx

Pressie from Jan & Nigel xx

Pressies from Nick, Clare, Dylan & Freya xx



Pressies from Paul & Vivienne xx

Beautiful plant arrangement from my Mom & Dad xxxx

 



Nasty medicine

 

Pink lemonade lolly with a bad tongue doesn't mix