20 days post double mastectomy

I can and I can't wait for my Pathology report in the next few weeks. I do and don't want to know the exact grade and stage of my cancer. Fingers crossed it's exactly as thought from the biopsies I had done in March and I don't need radiotherapy. I'm sure it is and the chemotherapy kept it at bay but your mind still wonders off until you know eh!

My chest felt weird last night, it felt so heavy it felt like the implants were going to drop out, I just couldn't get comfy. So I had a rough night again with the pain and my mind, I just lay awake all night eventually fell asleep around 7am, what I'd give for a decent nights sleep. I tried everything to get me to sleep too, tablets, alcohol, Horlicks, I even had a bit of morphine at 2am and that didn't work.

I've decided I'm going to have a bath tonight and remove my steri-strips while I'm in there, it's 20 days now, my wounds must be healed over, I really ache and I'm longing for a soak. You may hear me scream when I look down and realise my nipples are really gone, scared of what I'm going to see but it won't be for ever.

Thought I'd show you a few pictures of my fluffy chick hair, it seems to be light at the front and dark at the back and very sparse on the top, seems it is growing back first where it fell out first. Yes I know I look like an old man, but without the comb over :-P

I'm using this new soap bar for my scalp from lush:
A solid bar with cinnamon, clove and peppermint to stimulate your scalp. Cinnamon leaf, bay and clove bud essential oils combine with peppermint to boost blood flow, stimulating the hair follicles. An infusion of nettle and peppermint helps to stimulate the scalp and promote healthy hair. Rosemary soothes, calms your scalp and adds a glorious shine to your hair.
https://www.lush.co.uk/products/new

I also have the Lush Roots treatment ready for when I have a bit more hair:
The root to great hair starts at the scalp: we've used mint in three different ways to stimulate the scalp and hair follicles. We follow this up with conditioning and strengthening extra virgin olive oil, honey, and balancing nettle. The delicate, cheering perfume comes from a blend of neroli, grapefruit, and sweet orange oil. Apply to dry hair, starting at the roots. Massage into the scalp and leave for 20 minutes.
https://www.lush.co.uk/products/roots

Got around to hanging my heart from Collette

Also hung my healing friendship globe from Becky

And my plaque from Becky

My beautiful orchid from Ann xx