A week after double mastectomy

It's been a week since surgery and I'm still in pain, very swollen, tight and tender all over my chest and under my arms. Surgery went very well but I came out smaller than expected boob wise. This was due to me having a wide breast base, but my surgeon tells me there's still enough room to blow them up to the size I'd like over the next few months. I was told over the next few months my boobs would change a lot and would be lumpy, he wasn't wrong. Lumps are coming and going and shooting pains are agony. So much so that the last few nights I've had to try and fall asleep sat up in bed, because I can't lay down flat for the shooting pains. I can't wait till I'm fully healed.

 

Hotel hospital was better than expected, I love the adjustable beds, the food and the nurses and doctors are all wonderful. I think I've put another stone on though due to hospital food, too many steamed puddings and custard lol! I couldn't fasten my jeans up that I went in with oops! My operation was Wednesday 5th August at 14:30 which lasted just under 3 hours as I had 2 of the best surgeons at The Glenfield, one on each boob, lucky me eh ;-) I was allowed to go home on the Friday, I left my hotel with 4 drains, 2 on each side. Drains are required to stop the build up of fluid and stop seromas forming. They also help lessen bruising.

 

I was given home made bags to carry my drains in and heart shaped pillows to put under each arm for comfort, which I'm most grateful for. They tell me some lovely ladies make them who used to have cancer themselves, how wonderful. Thank up so much xx

 

I went back to hospital on Monday to have my drain bottles and dressings changed, it's now Wednesday and I still have them in. I have to phone in my drain readings every 24 hours and they have to be under 30ml a day before they'll take them out, so I'm hoping tomorrow is the day, fingers crossed. You're so limited with them in as to what you can do, I've forgot them a few times and nearly pulled them out. It's taken me all day to try and write this blog. My sides also feel very bruised due to the drains. I started off draining 130ml a day in 2 of the bottles and it's been getting less each day, today is 50ml and 30ml in the larger drains and 10ml in each of the smaller drains. They started off blood red and are now more orange due to the gold plasma, they'll eventually be clear.

 

Since Sunday my tongue has cracked and is very spotty, and everything I eat stings. I now have a course of mouth drops which taste awful, as you will see from the picture below. Thanks to my niece and her quick reaction she's took a couple of hilarious photos.

 

My mom and niece arrived on Saturday, as my mom is now on a walking stick, I knew she couldn't stay away hehe, love you mom. My one brother bought them here and my other brother is fetching them home on Friday. It's lovely having them here even though we still can't do much, Tim and Lauren walk the dogs while me and my mom recover from our surgeries. Love you all xxxx

 

I've had lots of lovely cards, flowers and presents, thank you all so much. Love you lots xxxx

 

Heart pillows

Alien woman

Drains

Drain bags

 



This is what we call a drain worm haha

 

A drain worm in the pipe

Hospital dinners
 

After surgery

Day after surgery

 



Thanks for my boob candles Paul xx
 

Flowers from Jan & Nigel xxxx

Pressie from Jen, Pete, Alice & Abi xxxx

Pressie from Jan & Nigel xx

Pressies from Nick, Clare, Dylan & Freya xx



Pressies from Paul & Vivienne xx

Beautiful plant arrangement from my Mom & Dad xxxx

 



Nasty medicine

 

Pink lemonade lolly with a bad tongue doesn't mix

The night before double mastectomy

The night before surgery has arrived, I've kept busy for 2 days with work thankfully, it's kept my mind of it. It's hard to describe how I feel, but you can guess it's very mixed emotions. Nervous for surgery, angry I'm losing two of my three favourite assets, (yes I am actually one of those women that loves her boobs, which has made it worse. I bet you're wondering what my other favourite asset is hehe) glad the cancer that's left after chemo is finally being removed from my body. Happy I don't need radiotherapy, this is because I'm having full mastectomy and all my lymph nodes were clear of cancer.

Over the next few months I will be getting saline injected into my implants every 3 weeks as my skin stretches and eventually nipple reconstruction. I can't wait for this journey to be over and get on with my life. So hopefully by Christmas (yes I mentioned the other C word) I'll have the boobs I want and some hair on my head!

Thank you for all my cards, best wishes, flowers and presents. xxxx

LET'S GO KICK CANCERS BUTT BIG STYLE

4 weeks post chemotherapy

Well it's now 4 weeks since my last chemo and side effects are improving at last, my main issues now are Fatigue and Peripheral Neuropathy. My hair is slowly growing back along with some tiny eyelashes. My finger nails are growing all ridged but I can see some nice smooth nail starting to appear at the base. My toe nails have gone darker but no signs of them dropping off yet, fingers crossed they don't.

I've finally finished my blood thinning injections, it was so nice to lock the sharps bin for good and can't wait to hand it in. Maybe my belly can get back to it's normal colour now. I'm still on a few drugs for certain side effects but only about 10 a day now.

My dad came over last week with my Uncle John from the West Midlands and my cousin Stephen from America, I'd not seen him since 2006 when I visited NYC, it was great to catch up. Thank you all for coming to see me. xxx My mom couldn't come this time as she has had another new knee operation, she'll soon be up and about with her bionic knees now, she's doing really well. Love you Mom. xxx

I've had a bit of a roller coaster of emotions over the last 10 days and I hit rock bottom again for a few days last week but luckily I receive therapy through Coping with Cancer and they're helping me to deal with this. As you can guess with surgery pending my fear of losing my boobs got worse, as I've been able to put it to the back of my mind for the last 6 months during chemo. But buying things ready for hospital woke me up that it is actually happening. I do realise they have to go as they cancerous and trying to kill me. So I've finally put them in the "fuck it bucket" Thank you mom for my new PJ's. xxx

I met a friend for the first time at my pre-op called Sharon, we met through an online cancer chat group on Facebook. She is in for her operation the day after me so we will be in hospital together for a few days, we're on the same Ward and Sharon asked our surgeon to put us together, let's see what mayhem we can cause hehe :-D

My friends Hayley and Collette came to see me Friday, we had a lovely afternoon. It's great to see friends and catch up. xxx

One of work colleagues Becky sent me a bag of goodies as a pick me up before surgery. Such a lovely idea it really did just that, it came at the right time too after a bad few days. It contained all sorts of lovely things from a Healing Friendship globe and hand cream to wine and snacks. The kilner jar contains all sorts of fruit and berries. Think I'll be using a bath teabag, wine and chocolates the night before surgery to relax. Thank you Becky xx

I have my bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction surgery this Wednesday, I may post tomorrow I may not. If not I'll blog briefly from hospital towards the end of the week. TTFN

Fab card from Becky xx

My goodies from Becky, thank you so much. xx

Flowers from my Mom & Dad xxxx

Still look bald, but there is hair there.

Chemo 6 Day 25

Chemo 6 Day 25

Well I'm still suffering with side effects, phoned my Oncologist today and he tells me that the Chemo drug (Docetaxel) I had the last 3 times is cumulative, hence why it's taking longer for the symptoms to disperse.

I'm struggling with hot flushes big time, I must be having 30-40 a day, they say it's hormonal but chemo may have only temporarily stopped my ovaries, it's just a case of wait and see. So I'm not even going to think about that fact yet! They've given me a small dose of a drug called Citalopram to take for now see if it helps and told me it's best to wear cotton against my skin as it doesn't feel cold afterwards when you're soaked to the skin. Luckily all my bedding is 100% Egyptian cotton, looks like I'll have to go shopping for some cotton tops etc...hehe any excuse!

My peripheral neuropathy will improve I'm told but they've put me on Naproxen for now see if that helps.

My bowel habits have gone form the miming the Hoover Dam to the Mississippi river, wish they would make their bloody mind up!

My fatigue is the worse it's ever been through the last 5 months, 5-10 steps and I have to sit where ever I stop, never felt so unfit in all my life, i'm in pain from the minute I wake up in my legs, everything just hurts. But it will improve over time and I can see a light at the end of tunnel.

My Pre-op went well, even though I spent most of the day in hospital having bloods, ECG and consultations. Found out today my bloods are all ok and I'm fit for surgery even though I don't feel fit. My ECG was all ok, so chemo hasn't damaged my heart which it can do, so I'm pleased with that. So all I can do now is rest and eat healthy to be at my strongest for surgery on the 5th August. Have a good week. xx

Chemo 6 day 18

Chemo 6 Day 18

I managed to go out for the day on Saturday to the Extonbury Festival in my county, I didn't venture far from home but it was great to be out for the first time in 5 months. Had my first alcoholic tipple too which was very enjoyable. Thank you to all my friends and family that came and made it special.

Sadly I am suffering now which I'm shocked about as I only walked to the toilet 6 times, I spent the rest of the gig on my arse in a lovely comfy chair with blankets in the evening as you can see in the pictures below. 6 toilet trips wasn't bad considering I drank half a bottle of Pimm's and 2 large bottles of lemonade throughout the day!

I wanted to last till the end of the gig this year as last year I was in bed drunk at 8pm, I made it till 10pm which I wasn't happy about, but my friends reminded me I'd been there since 2pm so I suppose I did well considering. I joined everyone in my garden around the fire pit till about 11.30 and went to bed. Luckily I woke without a sore head which I was grateful for. Just can't believe I still ache 3 days later!

I had to give up on the micro pore plaster on my no nails and now wear cotton gloves, so I've been practising my miming lol! Have you tried typing in gloves...it's not easy I can tell you. I've now lost 5.5 nails on my fingers but so far have all my toe nails. Some ladies in my group have lost nails 4 months after their last chemo, will the side effects ever end I wonder! I still have peripheral neuropathy too in the end of my fingers grrr.

I have been fully open and honest on my blog and I'd like to think I've held nothing back as I want this to be as informative as possible and help others in the future too. So yet again I'll mention I have had bad constipation this chemo cycle, so much so that I have an anal fissure, oh the joys...I can hardly contain my excrement!

But if my stool softener doesn't work by end of this week my GP will try creams next, but they prefer to avoid that and do things the natural way first. They are all mentioned in this link for anyone who is interested. http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anal-fissure/Pages/Treatment.aspx

Tomorrow I'm of for my pre-op, ready for surgery in 2 weeks.

Beautiful flowers from my friend Claire xxx

 



 

 

Chemo 6 Day 13

Chemo 6 Day 13

Finally started to feel human again the weekend after my last week of chemo hell, shame it wasn't sooner while my Mom and niece were here, but we managed to have a nice day on Saturday before they went home on Sunday. It's lovely having them here to look after me and keep me company. I miss them already and will miss my mom for about 6 weeks now as she has had a new knee operation today, get well soon mom. xx

My hair on my head is starting to grow back and I look like a fluffy baby chick, just want my eyebrows and eyelashes the rest can stay away...I wish! But my finger nails have started dropping off as warned on Docetaxel, but luckily I have new nails starting to grown underneath. They are very short and tender though so having to keep covered at the moment.

The dizziness has gone now along with the bone and muscular pain, so the major side effects have cleared up quicker this time but I was on the reduced 75% dose. I just feel really tired and lethargic now, I can't walk far at all and have to sit down a lot, so it takes a while to get from A to B.

Today I went to get measured up for my new boobies, so they are now ordered and surgery is booked for 5th August 2015, nervous and happy at the same time is a bizarre feeling. I told my surgeon to get me done in the morning or he might see me running across the hospital car park in my gown...lol!

My Mom, me and niece Lauren xxxx

New nail that was underneath, little bit short at the moment

Trying micro pore tape

Fluffy chick

Chemo 6 day 8

Chemo 6 Day 8

I managed to have a good weekend before the side effects kicked in, I even managed to do an hour of gardening Saturday which I was pleased about. I didn't like wrapping up though in the heat, sadly I have to cover my arms and hands fully as I'm at risk of getting Lymphedema since having lymph node surgery earlier this year.

Monday afternoon I started to feel really tired and like I'd been through my usual ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Due to having the reduced dose of 75% chemo my pain was slightly better than last but only slightly, it was still 7/10, so still had the morphine and naproxen concoctions.

Tuesday afternoon I started to feel dizzy which I've never experienced before as a side effect of chemo, it's been so bad I fell over in the bathroom. The dizziness also made me feel sick and like I was going to fall arse over tit every time I stood up. The doctor came out yesterday and took my blood pressure and all my obs are fine thankfully, so no A&E for me this time. I'm on the mend today and just feeling light headed now.

The peripheral neuropathy is still hanging around which is annoying and my nails are lifting, I've lost half a nail so far, hope I don't lose too many! I still can't taste anything which I'm fed up with as I'm now going of food and struggling with things to eat because my mouth is sore. Never eaten so many lollipops in my life!

Oh well, on a good note only 2 weeks maximum before I can hopefully put all the chemo side effects behind me. Looking forward to a relaxing weekend and some sun. Have a good weekend. xx

Chemo 6 day 1

Chemo 6 Day 1

 

MY LAST CHEMOTHERAPY... YIPPEE!!!

 

Well the day finally arrived and went. Chemo all went well as it always does, the worst part of the day is having the cannula fitted and the feeling of cold as the drugs are pumped into your veins, all feelings I've learnt to manage. Can't believe it's been 18 weeks of hell and it's almost over. Just need to get the next 10 days over with and that will be the end of chemo side effects woop woop! I celebrated with some new bling shoes and bright jeans, which all the nurses loved and a few asked where I got them from hehe. I made a poster to remember the day. I also took cakes in for all the nurses who have been so good to me. Had a few hugs but no goodbyes yet as I will see them again later this year when I get my 10 years medication meeting.  

My chemo buddy Julie who was there for my first 4 chemo sessions, was in the hospital having her radiotherapy at the same time as me came to visit me in the chemo suite and we exchanged a few little pressies. And it's great that she only lives 18 miles from me so we will be staying good friends. Picture below of my goodies and I love them all, thank you honey xxx

Went home and after having my taste buds back for just over a day was hoping they'd last for the evening, so I got my favourite pizza...but no such luck...no taste whatsoever grrr :-( Oh well looking forward to a good weekend before my chemo side effects kick in, or maybe they won't seeing as I only had a 75% dose...fingers crossed. Have a good weekend everyone. xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chemo 5 day 21

Chemo 5 Day 21

Since my last post I've improved a little and yesterday finally got my taste buds back, oh well I gained a day on last time! On Tuesday I went on a Look Good Feel Better Course which I really enjoyed even though I came out feeling like I looked like a clown. I rarely wear makeup and never knew there were so many things you could use to disguise blemishes etc etc. I will put my bag of freebies to good use next time I get to go out!

I've been working extra hard this week as it's half year end at work and with all my hospital appointments too the pressure was on, I'm almost done now, just a few bits to finish of in the morning. Then I'm of for my final chemo....yes your heard right...MY FINAL CHEMO yippee!

I went to see my Oncologist yesterday and my bloods are all ok and he's very pleased with what the chemo has done to my tumours, they're not completely gone, but they've shrunk a lot, which will make for less invasive surgery in August. He was going to cancel my last chemo due to the peripheral neuropathy and pain I'm suffering, but I felt like I wasn't giving it my best shot if I didn't have it and we eventually agreed I could go ahead but with a reduced dosage of 75% so hopefully I won't suffer as bad side effects this time!

I'll be glad when tomorrow is done and the next 2 weeks are over and I hope never to experience chemotherapy ever again. Then I can enjoy a few good weeks before my final surgery. I was pleased he confirmed that he's 99% certain that I don't need radiotherapy as I'm having a double mastectomy and there is no evidence of cancer in my lymph nodes, which I'm grateful for. So just the dreaded Tamoxifen tablets for 10 years after surgery.

Wish me luck and I'll blog over the weekend with how my last chemo went.
Have a good weekend. xx

 

Finally out of my PJ's

Oh my make up

My LGFB goodies